WORST FUCKING STYLES EVER

WORST FUCKING STYLES EVER

Happy Friday idiots. Welcome back to the greatest website of all time for your bullshit, real shit, talk shit Scooter news. Today we’re coming in fucking hot, like Margot Robbie was in Wolf Of Wall Street.

Jesus fucking christ shes so hot. FUCK! But unlike Margot, ya know, elegant, smooth, delicious, beautiful, etc. We’re looking at some ugly shit today. WORST STYLES EVER. Warning: Don’t be a fucking bitch this is all a joke and mostly not true, mostly. 

NUMBER 1: MOHAMED ALSULAIBI

Yo this guy had no idea what foot stance he was. Was he goofy? Regular? Ski? What was happening with his feet bro. I don’t even know what’s happening to his feet. This was during the moon boot phase too. (Where you wore the biggest and bulkiest shoes ever). I can’t remeber anyone before him that had fucked up feet like him. It’s actually pretty impressive to see how fast Mohamed changed his feet so fucking fast after landing a trick. Low key he actually does some pretty hard tricks in this tho which is crazy for 2010. Wonder what he’s up to now.

Number 2: Rob Alpacaflip

Dude holy shit this guy actually uploaded a new video of him shredding a mini pipe this month. Hahaha what the fuck? I might be biased adding him to this group because he was just the worst. He was a SR forum gremlin. He never left that place. He’d just shit talk and be a dumbass. He somehow got moderator on there and I really wanna know why someone so toxic got that. His style was just soooo stiff. And at the time he had the biggest helmet in the world. Like he carved a watermelon and get a mould for that and put it on his head. Insanely big. This video doesn’t show that, but fuck you. I had some jokes about this guy being an urban myth, but he actually is still riding so hell yeah Rob… lol.

Number 3: Brian Murphy

Legend, I know.. fuck me. I get it. I’m sorry it had to be done. It had to. I blame him for making this list based on where scootering was at the time. Sure he was on Proto, but there wasn’t any other decks out there yet. He had to ride this little tiny Razor deck with Proto SCS, Bars, and Forks. Brian’s a big boy man. That Razor deck wasn’t helping him much back then. Look at those god damn thighs bruh. Massive. Frontside riders were crazy back then too.

Number 4: YOU

That’s right bitch. You. You little park rat shit. Stop doing buttercups and landing flat. Stop doing any air out trick and landing flat. It doesn’t count idiot. Land in transition and do more tricks on the next quaterpipe. If you do a big air out trick then feeble stall the quarter after to set up for another trick, oh my god you’re the worst. Disgusting.

LISTEN THO. You can have shitty style. It’s ok to have shitty style. You can still make it and do great things with your bunk ass style. Let’s look at the greatest example in the entire world, Andrew Broussard. He’s the god father. Possibly the most influential Scooter rider Scootering has ever seen. Going way way wayyy back. RVM 2, Razor Video Magazine 2 for you little children. (Go watch it if you haven’t) Little guy Andrew is in the Razor van with some Goats like Ricky W’s and Josh Toy. He’s in the van cause he’s trying to get on the Razor squad. They’re on their way to WoodWard and Andrew’s plan is to get buck at WoodWard and make the squad. Broussard blew it. Kept eating shit on the hip. Couldn’t land it. While Eddie from Chicago does a triple whip lipslide or some shit which is fucked up NOW. Here’s the catch tho. What if Andrew was the steeziest dude ever at the time? He woulda made the team and BOOM, there’s no Proto today. And that is a mother fuckin’ world I wouldn’t wanna live in.

-Barry


Comments are closed.